The Value We Sometimes Forget: A Letter to My Fellow Experts
I was recently asked for advice and guidance on a project that would generally warrant at least an hour of consulting, but in reality would be a small project. As always, I was ready to jump in and help, and something made me pause.
Shortly after that, I was having dinner with a friend who asked me how business was going. I responded, "it is a process." I was mentioning a few projects I had been "assisting" with, but had not asked for payment. She stopped me mid-sentence and said, "Are you getting paid?"
"No," I said. "But they need help, and I wanted to support them."
"Jennifer. Your expertise, your labor, your knowledge is valuable. You cannot afford to 'help' when what you were actually doing is donating your professional services so they save money and profit."
I sat with that for a long time.
The $50,000 Reality Check
I went home, sat down, and went through the last year. Every "quick strategy session." Every "just take a look at this." Every "can I get your thoughts?" Every project where I'd convinced myself I was just helping someone who needed it.
When I finished, I was SHOCKED: $50,000.
Fifty thousand dollars in expertise and intellectual property I'd given away for free in just a year.
I stared at that number for a long time. I'd given away the equivalent of a salary in free services.
I wondered why I had not been able to focus on business development, why I didn't have time to cultivate relationships, why I was tired despite not making money.
In my mind, I'd cast myself as the generous friend, the supportive colleague, the person willing to help. And all of those things were true in terms of my intentions.
But the reality was: I'd given away my time and money and those who benefited had not thought to compensate me because I'd never indicated my work had value.
I'd taught them my expertise was free.
The Pattern Across Professions
Here's what I've been learning, sometimes painfully: when someone asks for your expertise and they're planning to use it to generate revenue, build their business, grow their organization, or solve their problems, that's not a favor. That's your professional service.
And I think this applies across so many fields:
The chef asked to review a menu for a restaurant that will use that feedback to attract paying customers.
The photographer asked to "swing by" an event that's selling tickets or building a brand.
The designer asked for "quick feedback" on materials that will be used to generate business.
The personal trainer asked to "just show me some exercises" that someone will use to get results they'd otherwise pay for.
The event producer asked to coordinate something that generates revenue for someone else.
The consultant asked to "brainstorm ideas" that will be implemented to raise money or increase revenue.
Here's what we all have in common: we've invested years becoming experts, and we're being asked to donate that expertise so others can profit from it.
Why This Is So Hard for Us
I'm writing this as much for myself as for anyone else, because I still struggle with this.
Here's why it's hard:
We love what we do. When you're passionate about your work, there's this voice that whispers: "Should I really charge for this? It's just what I naturally do." But your passion is what makes you excellent. It's not a reason to give it away.
It feels easy to us. After years of practice, your expertise feels intuitive. That ease is your expertise showing itself. You've compressed years of learning into instinct. That's precisely what makes it valuable.
We want to be helpful. When someone asks for help, saying no feels unkind. But you can be generous and have boundaries. You can care about people and still value your expertise.
We tell ourselves stories. I told myself I was being helpful, supportive, generous. What I wasn't telling myself: they were building their business or event on my free labor while I struggled to pay my own bills.
What Expertise Actually Costs
Let me break down what "just helping out" actually represents:
When someone asks me to "just review their strategy":
30 minutes reviewing materials: $250
15 minutes thinking about their situation: $125
30 minutes writing recommendations: $250
Years of experience enabling pattern recognition: Built on significant investment
Total: $625 minimum
A single project I worked on: $7,500
When someone asks a chef to "just look at their menu":
Reviewing dishes and pricing: $200
Understanding concept and market: $150
Analyzing flavor profiles and flow: $200
Years of culinary experience: Built on significant education investment
Total: $550+
When someone asks a photographer to "swing by":
Travel and setup: $150
Shooting time: $300-500
Equipment wear: $50
Editing: $200-400
Technical and artistic expertise: Built on equipment and training investment
Total: $700-1,100+
When someone asks a personal trainer for "quick advice":
Understanding their goals and limitations: $100
Designing appropriate exercises: $150
Explaining proper form and safety: $100
Years of anatomy and physiology knowledge: Built on certifications and experience
Total: $350+
The Revenue Reality
Here's the uncomfortable truth: when someone asks for free expertise, they're almost always planning to use it to generate value for themselves.
The small business owner wants to increase sales. The nonprofit wants to raise money. The entrepreneur wants to launch profitably. The event generates ticket revenue. The restaurant attracts more customers.
They're asking you to donate what you use to make a living so they can profit from it.
And here's what I've learned: when you give expertise away for free, people often don't value it or implement it. There's no commitment. No accountability.
The research I provided? They gained insight. The advice I gave away? People used it to grow their businesses. The strategies I shared for free? Organizations implemented them to raise funds.
They profited from my expertise while I didn't.
What I Must Shift for Me, My Family, and My Business
1. Calculate What Things Cost
Before agreeing to anything, I ask: "If I were billing this, what would it be worth?" That number helps me make informed decisions.
2. Name the Value Out Loud
Even when considering pro bono work, I say: "What you're asking for is typically a $X service. Let me think about my capacity and whether I can offer this pro bono, and I'll get back to you."
This helps them understand what they're receiving and reminds me what my expertise is worth.
3. Track What I'm Giving Away
Monthly calculation of free work value. Seeing that number in black and white changes behavior. That's how I found the $50,000.
4. Remember They're Often Profiting
This isn't about being cynical. It's about being honest. Most requests for free expertise involve someone planning to use it for their benefit.
5. Use Clear Language
Instead of: "Sure, I can look at your campaign."
Try: "What you're describing is typically a $1,200 service. Let me think about my capacity for pro bono work and get back to you."
Instead of: "Yeah, I can help with your project."
Try: "That project typically runs $5,000-7,000. Since this is for [specific reason], I could offer partial services for $2,500, or if budget truly doesn't allow, I can volunteer 5 hours of planning support but you'll need to handle execution. What works for your budget?"
6. Set Clear Boundaries
"I can give you 30 minutes, not an hour."
"I can help with planning, but not execution for free."
"I can review your strategy, but not write the entire plan without compensation."
When Free Actually Makes Sense
There are times when sharing expertise freely is appropriate:
When you've explicitly budgeted for it: "I set aside 5 hours monthly or $2,000 in pro bono value for organizations I'm passionate about."
When there's true reciprocity: "You're offering design worth $1,000, I'm offering strategy worth $1,000. Let's trade." (Equivalent value, clearly defined scope.)
When it's genuine networking: Brief conversations where professional topics arise naturally. Not hour-long strategy sessions.
When you've chosen mentorship: "I'm deliberately investing in your growth. We'll meet monthly for an hour. Here are my expectations for implementation."
The key in all cases: intention and mutual understanding. Your conscious choice with clear boundaries, not being pressured.
A Framework for Decisions
Here's how I decide when someone asks for expertise:
Say YES (with boundaries) when:
Genuine networking where professional topics arise naturally
Structured mentorship I've deliberately chosen
Peer exchange with equivalent expertise
Brief discovery call with potential client (time-limited)
Cause-based work I've explicitly budgeted for
Redirect to paid offerings when:
Someone needs consulting presented as "advice"
Request solves a problem that creates value for them
They're asking for detailed feedback or strategy
This requires meaningful time and mental energy
They're requesting frameworks or methods I've developed
Say NO (kindly, clearly) when:
I'm at capacity and this compromises other commitments
Request doesn't align with my expertise or values
No compensation offered and no legitimate reason
I'm feeling resentful or pressured
Pattern of repeated asks without implementation
To My Fellow Professionals
If you're a chef, event producer, designer, strategist, trainer, consultant, photographer, or any professional whose expertise gets routinely requested for free:
YOUR EXPERTISE HAS REAL VALUE EVEN WHEN YOU FORGET IT.
The years you invested matter. The money you spent learning matters. The intuition you've developed matters.
You deserve compensation just as much as a doctor, lawyer, or accountant. Not because you're better, but because your expertise is just as real, just as hard-won, and just as valuable.
I know it's hard to set boundaries. I know talking about money feels uncomfortable. I know saying yes seems easier.
But here's the truth: you can't build a sustainable practice while giving away tens of thousands of dollars.
Your time is money. Your knowledge is money. Your expertise is money.
Not because money is everything, but because valuing our expertise financially is how we build sustainable practices that let us keep serving, creating, and doing work we love.
Moving Forward
I think about what I have given away versus what I have earned. While that's money I could have used to invest in my business, to pay my bills, to build something sustainable, I do not regret it. I learned and grew from those experiences.
While I value the experiences, they are teaching me, my expertise has value, and I get to decide what to do with it. But I can't make informed decisions if I don't acknowledge what it's actually worth.
I'm still learning. Still practicing. Still occasionally saying yes when I mean no.
But I'm getting better at remembering: my time is money. My knowledge is money. My expertise is money.
So here's to all of us, learning to value what we've built. Learning to set boundaries. Learning to say "this is what it costs" without apology.
Learning to stop giving away tens of thousands of dollars while wondering why we're struggling.
Our expertise matters. Our time matters. We matter.
And it's time we all started acting like it.
